I read the following story some years ago but lost track of the original, it just resurfaced in my inbox. I think this is one of the best tourbleshooting stories around.

The imposssible problem

Here’s a problem that *sounded* impossible… I almost regret posting
the story to a wide audience, because it makes a great tale over
drinks at a conference. :-) The story is slightly altered in order to
protect the guilty, elide over irrelevant and boring details, and
generally make the whole thing more entertaining.

I was working in a job running the campus email system some years ago
when I got a call from the chairman of the statistics department.

“We’re having a problem sending email out of the department.”

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“We can’t send mail more than 500 miles,” the chairman explained.

I choked on my latte. “Come again?”

“We can’t send mail farther than 500 miles from here,” he repeated.
“A little bit more, actually. Call it 520 miles. But no farther.”

“Um… Email really doesn’t work that way, generally,” I said, trying
to keep panic out of my voice. One doesn’t display panic when
speaking to a department chairman, even of a relatively impoverished
department like statistics. “What makes you think you can’t send mail
more than 500 miles?”

“It’s not what I *think*,” the chairman replied testily. “You see,
when we first noticed this happening, a few days ago–”

“You waited a few DAYS?” I interrupted, a tremor tinging my voice.
“And you couldn’t send email this whole time?”

“We could send email. Just not more than–”

“–500 miles, yes,” I finished for him, “I got that. But why didn’t
you call earlier?”

“Well, we hadn’t collected enough data to be sure of what was going on
until just now.” Right. This is the chairman of
*statistics*. “Anyway, I asked one of the geostatisticians to look
into it–”

“Geostatisticians…”

“–yes, and she’s produced a map showing the radius within which we
can send email to be slightly more than 500 miles. There are a number
of destinations within that radius that we can’t reach, either, or
reach sporadically, but we can never email farther than this radius.”

“I see,” I said, and put my head in my hands. “When did this start?
A few days ago, you said, but did anything change in your systems at
that time?”

“Well, the consultant came in and patched our server and rebooted it.
But I called him, and he said he didn’t touch the mail system.”

“Okay, let me take a look, and I’ll call you back,” I said, scarcely
believing that I was playing along. It wasn’t April Fool’s Day. I
tried to remember if someone owed me a practical joke.

I logged into their department’s server, and sent a few test mails.
This was in the Research Triangle of North Carolina, and a test mail
to my own account was delivered without a hitch. Ditto for one sent
to Richmond, and Atlanta, and Washington. Another to Princeton (400
miles) worked.

But then I tried to send an email to Memphis (600 miles). It failed.
Boston, failed. Detroit, failed. I got out my address book and
started trying to narrow this down. New York (420 miles) worked, but
Providence (580 miles) failed.

I was beginning to wonder if I had lost my sanity. I tried emailing a
friend who lived in North Carolina, but whose ISP was in Seattle.
Thankfully, it failed. If the problem had had to do with the
geography of the human recipient and not his mail server, I think I
would have broken down in tears.

Having established that — unbelievably — the problem as reported was
true, and repeatable, I took a look at the sendmail.cf file. It
looked fairly normal. In fact, it looked familiar.

I diffed it against the sendmail.cf in my home directory. It hadn’t
been altered — it was a sendmail.cf I had written. And I was fairly
certain I hadn’t enabled the “FAIL_MAIL_OVER_500_MILES” option. At a
loss, I telnetted into the SMTP port. The server happily responded
with a SunOS sendmail banner.

Wait a minute… a SunOS sendmail banner? At the time, Sun was still
shipping Sendmail 5 with its operating system, even though Sendmail 8
was fairly mature. Being a good system administrator, I had
standardized on Sendmail 8. And also being a good system
administrator, I had written a sendmail.cf that used the nice long
self-documenting option and variable names available in Sendmail 8
rather than the cryptic punctuation-mark codes that had been used in
Sendmail 5.

The pieces fell into place, all at once, and I again choked on the
dregs of my now-cold latte. When the consultant had “patched the
server,” he had apparently upgraded the version of SunOS, and in so
doing *downgraded* Sendmail. The upgrade helpfully left the
sendmail.cf alone, even though it was now the wrong version.

It so happens that Sendmail 5 — at least, the version that Sun
shipped, which had some tweaks — could deal with the Sendmail 8
sendmail.cf, as most of the rules had at that point remained
unaltered. But the new long configuration options — those it saw as
junk, and skipped. And the sendmail binary had no defaults compiled
in for most of these, so, finding no suitable settings in the
sendmail.cf file, they were set to zero.

One of the settings that was set to zero was the timeout to connect to
the remote SMTP server. Some experimentation established that on this
particular machine with its typical load, a zero timeout would abort a
connect call in slightly over three milliseconds.

An odd feature of our campus network at the time was that it was 100%
switched. An outgoing packet wouldn’t incur a router delay until
hitting the POP and reaching a router on the far side. So time to
connect to a lightly-loaded remote host on a nearby network would
actually largely be governed by the speed of light distance to the
destination rather than by incidental router delays.

Feeling slightly giddy, I typed into my shell:

$ units
1311 units, 63 prefixes

You have: 3 millilightseconds
You want: miles
* 558.84719
/ 0.0017893979

“500 miles, or a little bit more.”

Original author unknown

50 Things we know now that we didn’t know this time last year

Originally published: 12/28/09, 12:10 PM EDT
By Jeff Houck

If there was an award for best quote of the year, our money would be on Richard Fisher, the director of NASA’s Heliophysics Division.

Fisher was interviewed in October by National Public Radio after NASA scientists discovered a mysterious ribbon of hydrogen around our solar system.

The layer, a sort of protective barrier called the heliosphere, shields us from harmful cosmic radiation. Its existence defies all expectations about what the edge of the solar system might look like.

Fisher’s response: “We thought we knew everything about everything, and it turned out that there were unknown unknowns.”

In other words: We don’t know what we don’t know until we know that we don’t know it.

Life is funny that way. You think you’ve got the world wrapped up in string, only to watch some bit of news come along to unravel your comprehension of how things work.

One thing we did expect: that 2009 would be full of strange and wonderful revelations.

A prediction for 2010? Same thing as this year, only different.

(continue reading…)

I had this posted on my old blog, and I stumbled upon it once again, don’t know the origin.

Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children – last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

Houses had thatched roofs – thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, rats, and bugs) lived in the roof.

When it rained it became slippery, and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, hence the saying, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying “dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (the straw left over after threshing grain) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more and more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. To prevent this, a piece of wood was placed in the entrance way – hence a “thresh hold.”

They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile, — hence the rhyme, “peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man “could bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach on to the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers (a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl). Often trenchers were made from stale bread that was so old and hard that they could use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get “trench mouth.”

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, “the upper crust.”

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up hence, the custom of holding a “wake.”

England is old and small and they started out running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a “bone-house” and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell.

Thus, someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered “a dead ringer.” And that’s the truth.

Who said that History is boring!?

Source Unknown

Rehosted from 4chan

Best thing since sliced bread

Chat log 1:

Stranger: Hi, total stranger.
You: cowbel?
You: you like it?
Stranger: No
You: okay, how about this
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjELN1EFnYM
Stranger: I liek chocolate milk.
You: mee to
Stranger: Nice
Stranger: What’s your name?
You: tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine
Stranger: John
You: Ben
Stranger: Yours?
Stranger: Hi, Ben.
Stranger: Clocktower Ben?
Stranger: He’s cool
You: If you wish
You: but I’m not that reliable
You: j/k
Stranger: Lol
You: so what do you do John?
Stranger: Well, I let people sort their lives in awkward situations.
Stranger: What do you do?
Stranger: I make them appriciate their lives
You: Make sure virus outbreaks dosen’t happen
Stranger: Actually
Stranger: I am hoping one would occur.
You: well the potential is ther
Stranger: You got any “spooky zombie virus” stuff there?
You: I mean cofikker alone was at it heights somewhere along 10 milion computers
You: and it still hasn’t been activated
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: You are talking about computers.
You: oh right
Stranger: I was hoping real-life viruses.
You: should have clarified that a bit
You: I’d like to see zombies aswell
Stranger: You got my hopes up for nothing, man.
You: sorry dude
You: maybe you should create the virus?
You: you might be the one
You: the destroyer of civilisation as we know it
Stranger: Oh that would be neat.
Stranger: How do I start?
You: you need a lab
You: do you have one?
Stranger: Got one.
Stranger: I am an expert in mechanics, too
You: and alot of fancy hight tech equiment
Stranger: Yeah
You: that makes sounds and hisses and shit
Stranger: I can make all sorts of killing machines from rusty iron.
You: the you need a uknown virus
Stranger: How do I get one?
You: after you have that you just combine the virus with something that replicates
You: like a lisards tale or something
You: space or deep underwater
Stranger: Oh right.
Stranger: Have to construct a rocket or something.
Stranger: And then?
You: test it on dogs
You: that should aout do it
Stranger: I like dogs
Stranger: I don’t want to test it on dogs
You: well rats then?
Stranger: That’s inhuman!
Stranger: NO!
Stranger: I LOVE RATS
You: humans?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: That should do it
You: dude brave
You: straight to human trials
You: then you only need to realease it
You: that’s about it i guess
Stranger: Now, all I need is a space rocket, some unknown virus from the outer space (spooky), some lizard tails or shit, and release.
Stranger: Shouldn’t be too hard?
You: don’t forget the hicg tech equiment with the nosises
You: that shit is important
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Right
You: and a hot assistant
Stranger: After I put the stuff into the high tech equipment, I should get a bottle with neongreen liquid?
Stranger: Absolytely, the hot assistant is the key part
You: didn’t think about the liquid and glowing, seem like you have it cowered
You: get craking
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I’ll need a second assistant
You: shouldn’t be too hard
Stranger: Want to be my test subject
Stranger: I mean assistant
Stranger: ASSISTANT
Stranger: Forget about that sentence
You: nah, you need the henchmen accesorie for that
You: I’m the guy who sells you that shit
Stranger: Oh right
Stranger: And then I distribute the virus
Stranger: And huge explosions come out of nowhere?
Stranger: That would look cool
You: yeah and the military strikes
Stranger: My henchmen getting eaten by zombies while I run through fiery buildings and explosions
You: but you got to look out for the hero
Stranger: I got a friend in the military
Stranger: Yeah, I need super zombies for the hero
Stranger: He is called Obama, do you know him
Stranger: ?
Stranger: My friend, that is
You: i watched a documentary about him recently
Stranger: Oh cool, didn’t know he was on the TV
You: the obama deception
Stranger: Well, he is just killing time while I make the zombie virus
You: i see
Stranger: Then he attacks the Russians
You: the neibours are fuckin
You: loudly
Stranger: Oh nasty
You: it’s fukin annoying
You: as hell
Stranger: Drill a hole in the wall¨
Stranger: Pour some stuff in
Stranger: Like, something that smells
You: I like the way you are thinking
Stranger: And then seal their door(s)
Stranger: So they can’t get out
You: I’m going for a cigarette
Stranger: Allright
You: it was nice planing the destruction of the world with you
You: I hope you come to me with the money, so we can sort out the kinks and preffered pakkage
Stranger: Next friday?
Stranger: At 8?
You: sure thing
You: same place?
You: red sguare moscow?
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I’ll bring the boy
You: see you there
You: don’t bring trouble
You: I’ll be watching you til ‘ then
Stranger: As long as you pay the ransom, the boy will be fine.
You: funking neibours
Stranger: Refuse to pay, and the boy dies.
You: donät care about the boy
You: bring the money you get the stuf
Stranger: Allright
Stranger: I don’t want the boy
Stranger: Either
You: you have the boy
Stranger: You’ll get him, for free then
You: you keep the boy
You: i dont want the boy
Stranger: Me neither
You: congratulations you’re a father
Stranger: Fuck
You: maybe you could cal him Sam
Stranger: Gotta go, I have a body to dump to the lake
You: have fun
You: and don’t forget the weights
Stranger: I will, bye
You: til next friday
You: red quare
Stranger: 8 pm.
You: don’t be late
Stranger: I won’t

Re-hosting incase it get’s taken down.

Original: http://youshouldhaveseenthis.com/

(In No Particular Order)

01) Grape Stomp

02) Charlie Bit Me

03) Chocolate Rain

04) Dancing Baby

05) Post Secret

06) Charlie The Unicorn

07) Mentos and Diet Coke

08) Numa Numa

09) Peanut Butter Jelly Time

(continue reading…)

In the beginning there was a plan. Then came the assumptions. The plan
was without substance. The assumptions were without form. Darkness was
upon the face of the workers.

And they spoke amongst themselves saying: “It is a crock of shit and
it stinketh!”

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said: “It is a pail
of dung and none may abide the odour thereof!”

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying: “It is a
container of excrement and it is very strong, Such that none may
abide by it!”

And the Managers went unto the Management Committee saying: “It is a
vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength!”

And the Management Committee spoke amongst itself saying unto one
another:

“It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong!”

And the Management Committee gave counsel unto the Vice Presidents
saying unto them: “It promotes growth and it is very powerful!”

And the Vice Presidents went unto the President saying unto him:
“This new plan will activily promote the growth and vigour of the
company with powerful effects!”

And the President looked upon the plan and saw that it was good. And
so the plan became policy.

And that’s how shit happens.