Talk to A Stranger

Best thing since sliced bread

Chat log 1:

Stranger: Hi, total stranger.
You: cowbel?
You: you like it?
Stranger: No
You: okay, how about this
Stranger: I liek chocolate milk.
You: mee to
Stranger: Nice
Stranger: What’s your name?
You: tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine
Stranger: John
You: Ben
Stranger: Yours?
Stranger: Hi, Ben.
Stranger: Clocktower Ben?
Stranger: He’s cool
You: If you wish
You: but I’m not that reliable
You: j/k
Stranger: Lol
You: so what do you do John?
Stranger: Well, I let people sort their lives in awkward situations.
Stranger: What do you do?
Stranger: I make them appriciate their lives
You: Make sure virus outbreaks dosen’t happen
Stranger: Actually
Stranger: I am hoping one would occur.
You: well the potential is ther
Stranger: You got any “spooky zombie virus” stuff there?
You: I mean cofikker alone was at it heights somewhere along 10 milion computers
You: and it still hasn’t been activated
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: You are talking about computers.
You: oh right
Stranger: I was hoping real-life viruses.
You: should have clarified that a bit
You: I’d like to see zombies aswell
Stranger: You got my hopes up for nothing, man.
You: sorry dude
You: maybe you should create the virus?
You: you might be the one
You: the destroyer of civilisation as we know it
Stranger: Oh that would be neat.
Stranger: How do I start?
You: you need a lab
You: do you have one?
Stranger: Got one.
Stranger: I am an expert in mechanics, too
You: and alot of fancy hight tech equiment
Stranger: Yeah
You: that makes sounds and hisses and shit
Stranger: I can make all sorts of killing machines from rusty iron.
You: the you need a uknown virus
Stranger: How do I get one?
You: after you have that you just combine the virus with something that replicates
You: like a lisards tale or something
You: space or deep underwater
Stranger: Oh right.
Stranger: Have to construct a rocket or something.
Stranger: And then?
You: test it on dogs
You: that should aout do it
Stranger: I like dogs
Stranger: I don’t want to test it on dogs
You: well rats then?
Stranger: That’s inhuman!
Stranger: NO!
Stranger: I LOVE RATS
You: humans?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: That should do it
You: dude brave
You: straight to human trials
You: then you only need to realease it
You: that’s about it i guess
Stranger: Now, all I need is a space rocket, some unknown virus from the outer space (spooky), some lizard tails or shit, and release.
Stranger: Shouldn’t be too hard?
You: don’t forget the hicg tech equiment with the nosises
You: that shit is important
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Right
You: and a hot assistant
Stranger: After I put the stuff into the high tech equipment, I should get a bottle with neongreen liquid?
Stranger: Absolytely, the hot assistant is the key part
You: didn’t think about the liquid and glowing, seem like you have it cowered
You: get craking
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I’ll need a second assistant
You: shouldn’t be too hard
Stranger: Want to be my test subject
Stranger: I mean assistant
Stranger: Forget about that sentence
You: nah, you need the henchmen accesorie for that
You: I’m the guy who sells you that shit
Stranger: Oh right
Stranger: And then I distribute the virus
Stranger: And huge explosions come out of nowhere?
Stranger: That would look cool
You: yeah and the military strikes
Stranger: My henchmen getting eaten by zombies while I run through fiery buildings and explosions
You: but you got to look out for the hero
Stranger: I got a friend in the military
Stranger: Yeah, I need super zombies for the hero
Stranger: He is called Obama, do you know him
Stranger: ?
Stranger: My friend, that is
You: i watched a documentary about him recently
Stranger: Oh cool, didn’t know he was on the TV
You: the obama deception
Stranger: Well, he is just killing time while I make the zombie virus
You: i see
Stranger: Then he attacks the Russians
You: the neibours are fuckin
You: loudly
Stranger: Oh nasty
You: it’s fukin annoying
You: as hell
Stranger: Drill a hole in the wall¨
Stranger: Pour some stuff in
Stranger: Like, something that smells
You: I like the way you are thinking
Stranger: And then seal their door(s)
Stranger: So they can’t get out
You: I’m going for a cigarette
Stranger: Allright
You: it was nice planing the destruction of the world with you
You: I hope you come to me with the money, so we can sort out the kinks and preffered pakkage
Stranger: Next friday?
Stranger: At 8?
You: sure thing
You: same place?
You: red sguare moscow?
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I’ll bring the boy
You: see you there
You: don’t bring trouble
You: I’ll be watching you til ‘ then
Stranger: As long as you pay the ransom, the boy will be fine.
You: funking neibours
Stranger: Refuse to pay, and the boy dies.
You: donät care about the boy
You: bring the money you get the stuf
Stranger: Allright
Stranger: I don’t want the boy
Stranger: Either
You: you have the boy
Stranger: You’ll get him, for free then
You: you keep the boy
You: i dont want the boy
Stranger: Me neither
You: congratulations you’re a father
Stranger: Fuck
You: maybe you could cal him Sam
Stranger: Gotta go, I have a body to dump to the lake
You: have fun
You: and don’t forget the weights
Stranger: I will, bye
You: til next friday
You: red quare
Stranger: 8 pm.
You: don’t be late
Stranger: I won’t